Welcome to the first collaboration between Flora Aura x Gabbie Rotts! Bringing you hot and fresh horoscopes monthly!
You are my least favorite sign, Aries, and I only say that to point out your defensive spirit. Calm it down! Some authority figures in your life might rub you the wrong way this month, but it will be good practice for the battle ahead.
(PS-you are not my least favorite sign. That’s Taurus, but I’m putting you through a test because I’m a Scorpio)
Taurus, you are not my least favorite sign either. I just feel like you have real fuckboy-adjacent energy, and it needs to stop. If you’re going to give a compliment, maybe actually mean it first? If you want to dive completely into your work, maybe don’t forget that the people in your life exist? Ghosting desires are strong with you, and I wonder, after ghosting so many people in your life, when are you going to completely disappear? One day, you might find yourself sitting alone at a bar in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood with no one to text “u up?” to. Metaphorically speaking. But have a good month anyway!
You two-faced strumpet! It’s your season!
You are finding yourself at the crossroad of stability and spontaneity. Wow, I know, very original and definitely not vague enough to apply to everyone. Mostly, stop beating yourself up because you’re actually doing a good job of balancing the two energies.
Also, you may envy the butterfly in the butterfly collection, pinned down to a white matte forever, but that’s really not you at all. You don’t need to give yourself up to retirement anytime soon.
Cancer, cancer, cancer! You need to spend less time with two certain people in your life. And don’t let that make you anxious. You don’t need to cut them out completely...you just feed so much off of them that it makes me sad to see your compassion get in the way of your contentment. You are like a sponge, but sometimes you have to throw away a sponge and use a dishrag? You see what I mean???
Look at you, you bright shiny star! You are patiently awaiting your season, but that means you are feeling a little uneasy. You feel the drum of anxiety but can’t find the drum circle!
I recommend doing some soul-searching this June, particularly around your overcommitted schedule, so that you can shine bright like a diamond next month. Also, maybe watch some musical theater?
Also, if you find yourself at a drum circle, make sure you bring a drum.
Virgo, has it been hard being a virgin your whole life? Like, not a literal virgin (unless you are), but someone who defiantly ignores what they don’t know?
Sometimes being a virgin gets in the way of you learning new tricks. This June, throw yourself out there. Maybe swim in a scary-ass lake. Maybe eat a mango in a very public space and let the juices run all down your chest. Maybe learn how to sew dolls that look like your elementary school crush. Having these new little experiences will help you with what’s going to happen later this year. Big things are coming for you, Virgo.
You may have been divorced seven time, but it’s “definitely not your fault.” (Again, metaphors!! Oh my stars!!) Perfection is not your game, but you're holding on a bit too strongly to what you think is right. Maybe get a little loosey goosey this month and impersonate your loved ones to see how they see and feel how they feel. Idk, Libra, you're on your own, if you didn't already know that.
Hello, you little scorpion snake. You are so misunderstood just because of your spiny-ass exterior. Speaking of exterior, you may experience a couple of acne flare-ups this month. It’s a sweaty season, but the chill and relaxing vibes are hard to sit comfortably in, and that stress is getting physically manifested!
Speaking of manifesting, remember you’ve already manifested a lot of things around you. Look around!
You know how you want to go out and do things but then are also pulled by the indelible force of Netflix and chill gravity? (Also, Sag, it’s okay if you had to look up the word indelible and realize it really doesn’t really work in that sentence.) I recommend Hulu this month, as there is one particularly original series you need to watch. Go find it.
PS - There are like six people who are waiting for an apology from you. Instead of focusing on that little tidbit from the stars, give as many compliments as possible this month, but not in a creepy way.
Capricorn, don’t tell the other signs, but you are actually better than everyone. You know this, so use it to your advantage this month. But also, don’t let your superiority complex get in the way. Just remember that other humans (not you) are fallible and deserve your compassion.
(Actually, you might not be better than everyone, depending on who you are. I was just thinking about my friend Emily when I wrote this.)
You might be feeling a bit anonymous this month. Does anyone actually know anything about you? Does your outside mean anything about your inside? Aquarius, who are you?
The thing is I have a terrible barometer for aquarii (also idk how to plural) but maybe that means something about you.
Hey, if you're going to make guacamole, you need at least one avocado. Pisces, your avocados are running in short supply. If you keep running like you are now, you might be in avocado debt and you know what happens when that happens. June is hot and people may try to make you stay out past your bedtime. Saying no is a skill you can overemploy this month.
Tune in next month for more hot tips! And be sure to follow @gabbierotts on Instagram for fresh tunes and comedy!